We all do things that sometimes is void of explanation, it’s the things we do. These habits become so part of our being that it is often difficult to realise these habits are quite toxic to your well being.
1. Leave the Past in the Past and stop dwelling on Past Failures
There is an old saying ‘learn from your mistakes but do not let them bury you’. The weight of the past can seem too heavy for you to carry. Focusing on your past steals away the present and future. This habit is quite common and can bring down yourself and other people quite easily but there’s a way to prevent it.
We have a simple method to help you rebalance yourself to be more present.
Take out your note book and write down one negative thought from your not so distance past. Do not go back a decade, something in recent times. This must be something that is burdening now. Write down next to this item a brief description of the issue.
Now write 5 sentences where you can take positives from the issue or encounter.
Now write one followup action step that takes forward one of your 5 statements. For example; ‘I always forget my art folder’, add a positive reason or a reasonable reason to explain why you keep forgetting it and solve the problem eg; ‘because it’s on the same day as sports’, ‘I will pack my bag the night before’. It will look like this
- Problem or Burden – forget my art folder
- Why – as its on the same day as sports
- Solve – Use locker at school to take sports kit the day before, or if space the art folder the day before.
In a nutshell, move away from beating yourself up over past or repetitive failure, grasp the issue once, understand the problem, and solve it in the present
2. Bring the positive out of the past
Time has a great knack of blurring the past and highlighting the good, great holiday, but forgot the 7 hour wait at the airport. So do your self a favour ask yourself the positives from your treasure trove of history. This habit can really relieve you and make you feel a lot better in times of doubt. A great ti- is to get your great holiday pictures physically printed.
Change your focus, learn from the past and look ahead to the future.
- What worked in my life so far?
- What could have I changed so far? Why didn’t I?
- What held me back from reaching my goals?
Once you have clarity in your past, you can learn and move forward. Without clarity, it’s easy to live the same day, week, and month and you are now freer in your mind and a bit relieved because once you know what was holding you back you can find solutions for the future.
3. STOP writing endless Goals and veto New Years Resolutions
I love note books, so much so I just find it a peaceful calming activity to write todo lists. The problem is I have so many note books with lists and lists of goals. I am just about ticking off the goals I set myself 5 years ago.
A Goal without a time limit is a dream, it is nothing more than a nice thought. Unrealistic goals are nothing other than short term pick me ups. It feels so great that you are designing a rocket ship in your garden. You can even set yourself the task of drawing the logos for the engine cowels. Break anything down into many bits you can fool yourself your are travelling forward. Until someone taps you on the shoulder and ask to see the rocket ship.
Write goals that are specific, descriptive and time tabled
In your notebook write four goals that have to be done in the next 4 weeks. Against each goal be descriptive on the outcome. Then write bullets on what you have to do to get there. Remember Be Realistic, always consider you can actually deliver on the task you set.
Do not set more than 4 goals, you want to maintain focus. The secret is to map out the small steps. You could build a rocket ship in your garden, if your realistic it will be a model rocket ship.
Always break tasks down to their smallest component. Chunk the project into small Steps. Then once you have done one of the tasks you are closer to reaching your goal and you will feel good about yourself.
4. Quit Being Around the Same People that bring you down
Now we are beginning to lift the lid on life, look around you, where are your friends, colleagues, associates. I do not mean physically I mean mentally. Look out for people in your sphere that present friction, contention, anxiety, or even they are simply on a different page to you.
Do you find in the quietness of your own space you return to your inner self, reflecting on the frustrations and baggage that others bring to your door step.
Word of warning, taking axe to everyone on your d list can leave you with no one around and isolated. Life is a complex mix of compromise. The human spirit has an uncanny ability to present the great good in the most unusual of ways. Before putting the D for Dump do go through a cycle of empathy.
Nothing is stopping you from switch things up abit. Start by exploring new opportunities to be around new people, people who get you. The journey of self discovery begins by surrounding yourself by folks that you can connect with.
We are not all born to be social climbers. Joining new clubs, talks, seminars a new team sport are all things we can all do to enlarge our envelope-of engagement. While joining new clubs or activities you might find a new hobby as well as a new friend which makes your friend zone wider and have more sociality.
5. Prioritise your day
If you still start your day hitting the snooze, rushing to work, and cursing the traffic for being late, that is 100% your fault. Become intentional with your mornings by being proactive, not reactive.
Start the morning on your terms by getting up earlier and focusing on the #1 priority in your life — yourself. Even if it’s waking up 10 minutes earlier, a morning routine can set your day up for success.
Do one of these of these rituals for 10 minutes each morning before checking your email, texting or scrolling through social media.
- Write your goals down in a journal
- Meditate (Learn the 4-step guide on how to meditate)
- Read something inspiring
- Watch motivational videos
You’ll start the day refreshed, energized, and ready to win the day.
6. Quit Relying on Willpower
As the #1 writer on Medium, Benjamin Hardy, said in Willpower Doesn’t Work, “Willpower is a muscle, like any muscle it can be overworked and fail.”
Instead of relying on your willpower muscle, change your environment to make it easier to accomplish your goals. You are who you are because of your environment.
If you want to change then change your environment, stop the willpower madness already. For example, if you want to start running each morning, lay out your shoes so you literally roll out of bed into them.
If you want to quit eating that food that kills your diet, don’t have it in the house. In fact, don’t even bother going down that aisle in the store. Once you’re clear on your goals (Step 2) it’ll be easy to eliminate willpower.
Start Creating a Better Life Today
Don’t slog through the rest of the year and decide to wait until next year to start living the life you deserve. Drop these five toxic habits and become the ultimate version of yourself.
You don’t need to wait until next week, next month or next year to start changing your life. Remember, improving isn’t always about adding to your life. Sometimes, it’s about dropping the things that are holding you back from success.
Article by Ak-kidslearner.com
picture:By Kelly Sikkema